New Realizations…..

The topic on most people’s mind is the new reality, and it’s an appropriate subject. I think most of us are trying to figure out how to navigate the new reality, it’s certainly is not like life as we have known it.

For me it seems to also be a time to look at my life and see what changes may be necessary. Normally I wouldn’t take as much time to reflect on this, but these are not normal times. I have realized there are some things that need work.

The first new realization is I have a longtime relationship that I need to let go of, not an easy process. I haven’t talked to this person for a while, so I thought maybe I would just let it go that way. But then that didn’t feel right, besides I had some things I really wanted to say. I decided to write a letter, I learned that in therapy. I thought it would let me feel like I had said what I wanted to. I started writing and rewriting and rewriting until I felt like it reflected what I wanted to say. While I was working on the letter I wasn’t sure if I would mail, maybe writing would be enough. Once it was finished I decided to go ahead and mail it, which I did. It’s been about three weeks and I have been second guessing myself whether or not I should have sent it and whether or not it says what I think it does. I am the worst for overthinking things. But it’s done and there’s nothing I can do about, so I just have to let it go. If only it was that easy.

There are more realizations that I need to address, but I am going to take a break and do something else before I address any of them. This was a difficult process and not as freeing as I had thought it would be.