Recently I was accused of not remembering someone that I consider my big sister. She and I have been through so much together, my cancer, the death of both of our mothers, trips to the hospital with both of our sons, holidays, the death of my son, memorial services, and birthdays to name only a few. Last year during Covid she received a devastating medical diagnosis. It was so upsetting to me that I couldn’t go see her, as I have mentioned before I have immune deficiency. I have some tough precautions from my doctors, one of my precautions is about being inside around people. I shared that with her on the phone and I hoped she understood. We talked on the phone until she couldn’t do that, then we texted until her daughter told me it was too hard for her to text. Since then, it’s been silent, I miss her every day, but I feel anything she can do should happen with her family. I think about her every day, and I pray for her and her family every day.

I wanted to do something to help, but the only thing I could do was to offer resources and information I had from all the years with my son, but it wasn’t wanted.

A few weeks ago I posted on Instagram that it was National Black Cat Appreciation Day. I feel like there is so much darkness on social media, so I try to add some light. And the comment I got certainly surprised me. Her sister was upset that I could think of black cats but forget people that helped me when I was sick. I started crying; how could anyone think I would forget my ‘sister’. That’s impossible! I wanted to respond but didn’t think anything I had to say would help. I believe her anger comes from her pain, which is part of why I felt a response wouldn’t do anything to help.

I have thought of many questions since this happened, but the one I am left with is if she felt so strongly about this, why not just contact me directly? She has my contact info, or she could private message me on social media. I believe that question will remain unanswered.