I was so hopeful that my health care situation was going to become clearer-but no. I have now met with someone at clinic about the available plans and the costs-scary stuff!! As I feared the costs are impossible for me, but clinic doesn’t see it that way. After they expressed some serious issues with my budget I spent three days cutting, canceling services, subscriptions and I was able to cut enough so that it actually covers my costs-no more bill roulette. But still there is not enough for all the costs of a health plan. I could just barely pay the premium and that would leave about $30 a month toward the co-pays and deductibles. So I met again with someone at clinic and was enrolled in the only plan they are accepting. I have no idea what I am going to do, I feel like I am in a topsy-turvy maze that has no exit. I am running and running as fast as I can and fighting as hard as I can–but getting no where. I keep ending up at the same place–what am I going to do? I don’t know. I mean what is the advantage of having a health plan if you can’t afford to use it?
The stress of all this is taking a huge toll on me-I am short of breath all the time, dizzy a lot of the time, crying often, not sleeping much and, if possible, even more tired. I can’t take much more, my body is already compromised by my cancer and treatment. But if I don’t fight who will? I am not even sure exactly what I am fight for or against who or what winning would be. I keep trying to gather enough information to understand it all, but so far that hasn’t found any answers. So I continue to run the maze with no exit, perhaps I should have brought some hedge cutters to this fight. My biggest hope at this point is to figure out what to do, sooner rather than later and before my body gives out on me.