Update-Dealing With Death

I attended the funeral for my cousin Andy and I was right it was a wonderful celebration of his life.  As I had mentioned I would be see family I have not seen for many, many years and by the time I arrived at the church I was getting a little anxious about seeing everyone.  But it was an amazing experience, I felt very welcome.  We shared memories, photos-both old and new, stories-old and new, exchanged phone numbers and email addresses and agreed to stay in contact.  I hope we do.

I have been to more funerals than I can count in my life, and missed several during the years that we didn’t go and the years that I could not go.  With all those funerals I thought I had seen and felt everything until this time.  It was different sitting there knowing that I have stage 4 cancer and sooner, rather than later, I will be the one who’s gone.  It wasn’t a sad feeling, it was a feeling of…..well I guess you could say reality.  It wasn’t scary, just a realization, but in a different way….it is really hard to find the words to explain it.  The one thing that is once again clear to me is the importance of living life in the moment….time is something not to be taken for granted.