This is life lesson number….I have lost track. Since my son passed a large number of my friends have gone missing. I have tried to understand why? or what happened? I have no idea, but my ‘sister’ told me that maybe they don’t know what to say. My response was they don’t have to say anything….but then I guess that is what they are doing.
The other unexplained thing has been a friendship I thought I had with one of my son’s nurses, but again I was apparently wrong. This nurse was with us for over four years, in good times and bad. We shared all the holidays, birthdays, ER visits, lunches, outings, shopping, doctor’s appointments, medical test, procedures, my surgery and chemo-all 18 cycles. Then there are all the things that went beyond the job, like our day trip to San Diego and all the times this nurse stayed with Robby after the end of the shift so I could go to practice parties at dance or to hear my friend’s band play. And this nurse was there all night at the hospital when Robby passed and was around after-we went to dinner, talked and even took me take care of some things that needed to be done.
But now….silence. I have tried to text, but nothing. So finally I decided to push the issue by texting the following: I haven’t texted you because I feel like you don’t want to hear from me-am I right? No response. So a friend of mine talked to this nurse and explained that it would be best to just say what they want, but no the response back was that no answer is an answer…..seriously? So I texted again and said I understand no answer is an answer-whatever. It never felt like it was just about the job until now. So don’t worry I wont bother you again. And of course no answer.
This has been painful, I thought this person was a friend, certainly felt like a family member and I trusted this nurse with the most important thing in the world to me, my son, not something I do easily. So this really hurts, especially on top of everything else that has happened. But I still just want to understand what happened, not that it will change anything.