After 28 years of accessing the healthcare system for my disabled son I was sure that I had seen it all. But almost two years ago when I was told I had cancer I was amazed at what came next. I do not have medical insurance, I had always just paid my own medical costs. Two hospitals turned me away because I could not pay in full upfront for my surgery. I called a third hospital dreading their response, but they told me that they would work with me-I was beyond shocked. I then got a referral from my obgyn to a oncologist that worked at that hospital, she is amazing. Her office referred me to clinic that could help me with my healthcare and the cost of my surgery. The clinic did help me, they made arrangements to cover the cost of my surgery and the treatment that followed. I have been a patient of the clinic ever since, where I pay on a sliding scale for my primary care.
Everything was fine until the beginning of this year with the new healthcare system. I am getting a lot of pressure from clinic the take a healthcare plan that I can’t afford, I live on a very limited income. All this was stressful enough, but now stress has met it’s friend anxiety after finding out that if I do not take a healthplan I may not be able to stay at clinic. I have no idea what I will do if that happens.
As of now I have done 18 cycles of palliative chemo, but I am sure this type of chemo will not be covered by any of these healthcare plans, as my chemo is buying me time-cure is not an option. These healthcare plans are outcome based, which is problematic as my prognosis is poor. I feel like if I am forced to take a healthcare plan it is like forcing me to decide I am willing to give up future chemo and therefore shortening the time I could have with my son-I am not ready to make that choice. After 2 weeks of all this stress and 2 more weeks until I meet with someone at clinic to look at the healthplans my anxiety has reached a point where I feel like I can’t take a deep breath-I hate this feeling.
I thought trying to access what my son has needed all these years was like a trip to Alice’s Wonderland, but now with my situation I feel like I am peering through the looking glass and what I see is frightening.