Each year as the holidays grow closer I find myself remembering Christmas’ past, especially the ones when I was a little girl before my Grandfather died (he died when I was seven). There was something so special about those Christmas’, it was a feeling in the air. It had nothing to do with presents, it felt warm, loving and even magical. The holidays were filled with lights, family, friends, baking, cooking, entertaining and going to see Santa. After Grandpa died those feelings of Christmas were gone, they were replaced with memories of family tension, disagreements and even anger. This was not Christmas as I knew it and I have tried year after year to get it back, but so far I have not be successful.
This year we had the priviledge of spending Christmas Eve with our adopted family. Every year they have a very large open house with family and friends; it is quite a gathering. I dressed Robby in his Santa pants and hat then Kevin, Robby and I were off. It was amazing seeing everyone, meeting some family members I had not yet met, sharing wonderful food and conversation and seeing the kids run, play and laugh; it felt like Christmas. Robby made friends with Grammy, who shared cookies and other treats with him. He also watched the kids running and playing, Jo’s three year old grandson Jude had fun throwing a foam airplane at Robby and Robby didn’t seem to mind. Seeing the excitement and joy in the faces of the children took me back to the Christmas’ with my Grandpa. It made me think that perhaps the feeling I have been searching for is really about simple joy and love and sharing both with the people I love.
